The order in disorder

Recently, I finished reading ‘A thousand splendid suns’ by Khaled Hosseini. The book introduces you to the bluntness of life and leaves you marveling about how one manages to survive all these excruciating circumstances.

There are several pages in this book, wherein an older version of me would have bawled her eyes out. But now, all that happens is an empty pit in my stomach telling me, or thinking rather, that this is how it is. I don’t know if I should celebrate this understanding or grieve the loss of something which I am unable to identify yet.

In our whys and hows, we often tend to forget, or rather tend to deny acceptance, of it is how it is; that so much in life is beyond our control. Rather almost everything is beyond our control, except our own reactions and actions in any situation that just occurs around us. We have no idea of how huge a game of probability life is and the domino effect that we are living in.

One thought leads to another, and I stumble upon this idea that so much of life is just is, from an individual’s perspective. We try to make the best of it, best of whatever we can make from all that is served to us. There is indeed so much randomness to every small incident and yet there is a larger order to things – on a bigger scale. One random incident for an individual is a part of the web of inter-related incidents, taking place all over the universe. Somehow, we are just living in this inter-related yet unrelated web – living consequences from the domino effect of incidents we are unaware of, we are unrelated to and incidents that apparently, and in the right mind, shouldn’t be important at all to us.

We are living in this disorder in an universal order, trying to make sense of the order in the disorder.